What I have learnt about love.

14 February 2018

by Richard Creer

Quotes

Ask most men about love and you would probably get a fair bit of head scratching. Not really being in touch with our emotions, most men dread Valentine’s day in case they don’t get it right..yep, got a card but do I buy chocolates or flowers or both?

If I were to reflect on love in a logical manner my brain would say it’s an utterly rubbish emotion. Let’s face it, life does not stand still, it changes, it always will. That means people we care about will leave our lives, through circumstance or even death. The hurt and pain can be like no other and that’s all love’s fault! So, we can build up our barriers to protect ourselves from the inevitable. Some do it better than others and will even call it building up ‘resilience’, but it’s not, it’s just not letting love rule your life, or as they say letting your heart rule your head.

The problem with this is that not letting love into your life means you are just existing, like a computer, functioning, just going through the daily processes. In my humble opinion, life is too short to just exist, it’s not being human. So hopefully I can share with you what I have learnt about letting love into your life.

Love yourself like your life depends on it. Find your truth. This is harder than you think. Negative mental loops will often question why we deserve to love ourselves, but finding techniques that help will allow the magic to happen. I find Kamal Ravikant’s books can open your eyes to how powerful self-love can be. Aristotle said that in order to care for others you need to be able to care for yourself. Pre-flight demonstration done, yes get that oxygen mask on! If you feel loving and kind, you will notice the opportunities that are loving and kind. You will feel complete, whole and able to give love, and your relationships will flourish.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back they’re yours, if not it was never meant to be. Is this being fatalistic or just letting go of control? I like to compare it with nature, we cannot control it, although humans try to. Just let it go… love cannot be imprisoned, it’s free flowing, with no boundaries. Love is a selfless act and if you truly love somebody, you want them to be happy, with or without you. Surprisingly when you are truly comfortable with this then love will come and find you. It always finds a way.

Never underestimate the power of love. I referred to love being a rubbish emotion earlier on. Calling love an emotion is a discredit. Love is more than an emotion. Emotions have a purpose and a specific action for you to complete, then your next thought or idea pops up and then a corresponding emotion, your own Mr Motivator. Real love is in a category of its own. Love is utterly stable and unaffected by any emotion, it survives trauma, anguish, disappointment and even death. Love doesn’t restrict itself to romantic relationships, it’s in every meaningful relationship. I can be furious with the people I love, utterly disappointed in them but the love never wavers.

Love is not merely a feeling, it’s a commitment. It is not defined by emotion nearly as much as it is by devotion. Dave Willis

So, feel alive, love yourself, give love, be in love.

Written by Richard Creer.